I’m new to this blogging thing. Evidently there is some blogging etiquette that I wasn’t aware of.

For those reading a blog on their phone, they shouldn’t have to scroll more than a couple of times or they might get discouraged and not want to keep reading.
Blogs should be of such a length that they can be read completely while in the check-out line.
While watching TV, if your husband gets up to go to the bathroom the wife should be able to read the blog before he gets back.

I guess I do see the wisdom of this. Blogs are supposed to be an add-on to one’s life. They should fit into the person’s schedule. From what I gather, if a blogger expects to have a large readership he needs to take these things into consideration. Well … at this point my blog is already getting too long and I haven’t even started!

While pondering these things, it hit me (like a right punch I wasn’t expecting) that God has really blown it. What was He thinking? After all His Blog is 66 books — 39 in the Old Blog and 27 in the New Blog. Now I understand why many people, even if they have God’s Blog, don’t read it. It’s too friggin’ long.

If God is really God it seems to me He should have been aware of the blogging etiquette needed to get a large readership. The reality of God now stands in doubt for me! His Blog doesn’t fit the three criteria above!! How can He be God???

Perhaps He should think about condensing His Blog. We already have The Message Translation. Maybe somebody needs to come out with the The Blog Translation. It should be just long enough so that people will actually want to read it. But, I guess God did try to condense His Blog. Evidently that is why, at least in part, He sent His Blog. You know the verses.

John 1:1, 14 In the beginning was the Blog, and the Blog was with God, and the Blog was God. And the Blog was made flesh, and dwelt among us.

Matthew 5: 17 — Think not that I am come to destroy the Blog, or the prophets: I am not come to destroy, but to fulfill. — Couple that with verses 18 and 19 — For verily, I say unto you, Till heaven and earth pass, one jot or one tittle shall in no wise pass from the Blog, till all be fulfilled. Whosoever therefore shall break one of these least commandments, and shall teach men so, he shall be called least in the kingdom of heaven: but whosoever shall do and teach them, the same shall be called great in the kingdom of heaven.

On first reading I always assumed the Blog didn't come to destroy any part of His Blog. That's why I'm glad I have my Secret Agent Decoder Ring. It helps me to understand verses that I normally would have taken at face value. You see the Blog is in a secret code for which you need that special Decoder Ring.

When using the Ring to decode the Blog one then comes to understand that the Blog actually did come to do away with parts of His Old Blog and give us a New Blog. The Old Blog was too heavy a burden for His people, the Christians. The Old Blog was to show those Jews how bad they were and that the Blog came to get a new people no longer under the heavy yoke of the Old Blog.

Also, when using the Decoder Ring on a verse like Hebrews 13:8 "Jesus Christ (aka, the Blog) the same yesterday and today and and forever" — I realize the verse actually doesn't mean that. Or take Malachi 3:6 "For I am the LORD, I change not" — He’s really saying He does change.

I’m going on too long.

If you made it this far Congratulations! I’ll be sending out to you your very own Secret Agent Decoder Ring :-)

Warren

Next week: Mrs. Inez Milford